normthehero (12:16:16 PM): did you get the email?
matthewdeprez (12:18:25 PM): WHO IS THIS?
normthehero (12:18:34 PM): it's jim doofus
matthewdeprez (12:18:42 PM): DID YOU SEND TO ME: SPAM?
matthewdeprez (12:18:47 PM): SPAM EMAILS?
matthewdeprez (12:18:55 PM): lol i'm joking
normthehero (12:18:55 PM): no, i sent you an email last night
normthehero (12:18:57 PM): haha
normthehero (12:19:01 PM): jerk
matthewdeprez (12:19:05 PM): what HAPPENED TO THE SCENES THAT ADAM AND I WROTE?????????????????????????????????
normthehero (12:19:25 PM): they are still around
matthewdeprez (12:19:37 PM): WE GOTTA USE THEM
normthehero (12:19:41 PM): we are just doing a broad outline first
normthehero (12:19:45 PM): then we'll plug in scenes
matthewdeprez (12:19:49 PM): i didn't want rob schneider to come into play until WAY l4t4r
normthehero (12:20:04 PM): BTYL - gratuitous towel scenes on the way
matthewdeprez (12:20:10 PM): like, i wanted him to be deported in the first 5 minutes due to a paperwork technicality
matthewdeprez (12:20:15 PM): EXCELLENT TOWEL SCENES
matthewdeprez (12:20:39 PM): and the first act was going to be mostly him trying to be a pro-active lawman
matthewdeprez (12:20:47 PM): but working for the lazy security guys
normthehero (12:21:00 PM): well - we wanted to make it abundantly clear that HE was / is the hero
matthewdeprez (12:21:12 PM): and even the town cops are too busy wrapped up in the news anchor's rapist case
normthehero (12:21:18 PM): so - the giant moose battle was our way of showing that.
matthewdeprez (12:21:34 PM): adam and i had a scene where he saved hikers from vikings
normthehero (12:21:41 PM): haha
normthehero (12:21:44 PM): right
normthehero (12:21:51 PM): he mentioned that to me
matthewdeprez (12:21:53 PM): anyway, the town cops are also a little lazy
matthewdeprez (12:21:59 PM): and way too into the rapist thing
normthehero (12:22:07 PM): are they town cops, or campus cops?
matthewdeprez (12:22:11 PM): so pierre discovers the terrorist plot on his own
matthewdeprez (12:22:14 PM): town cops
matthewdeprez (12:22:28 PM): pierre works for a rentacop company
matthewdeprez (12:22:37 PM): but they don't do anything at all, and they know they don't do anything
matthewdeprez (12:22:49 PM): pierre WANTS to do something, but he can't get a real police job
normthehero (12:22:53 PM): but they are way into the rape case
matthewdeprez (12:22:55 PM): because his only skills are canadian
normthehero (12:23:05 PM): yeah -
matthewdeprez (12:23:10 PM): the town cops think they are all cool
matthewdeprez (12:23:19 PM): but the rapist case is inolving the tv anchor
matthewdeprez (12:23:24 PM): so they are all "ooh tv"
matthewdeprez (12:23:38 PM): and don't notice the terrorist taking over mt rushmore right beneath their noses!
matthewdeprez (12:24:10 PM): and aside from using stolen children to smuggle drugs into the country and then to work in a sweatshop
normthehero (12:24:11 PM): i have a funny scene in my head where he goes in to interview to be a real cop - and the chief is like "well - let's see.... fighting bears... climbing trees... canadian bacon is ham.... no, we don't have a position fo you."
normthehero (12:24:18 PM): and he's all "but i'm a qualified law-man!
matthewdeprez (12:24:19 PM): he is also building a giant laser to destroy the earth
matthewdeprez (12:24:25 PM): it's pointed directly up into th esky
matthewdeprez (12:24:41 PM): and he's going to erect a giant mirror on the moon
matthewdeprez (12:24:56 PM): they will look over his credentials
matthewdeprez (12:25:03 PM): and they are scratched into birch bark
matthewdeprez (12:25:20 PM): really nice looking birch bark, but birch bark nonetheless
matthewdeprez (12:25:53 PM): this is where you can tell the story of rhinion as well
normthehero (12:25:59 PM): copy that
matthewdeprez (12:26:22 PM): "now it says here you saved the canadian national bureau of parliament from a giant moose monster called rhinion?"
matthewdeprez (12:26:36 PM): "can you give an example of what you learned from that experience?"
normthehero (12:26:47 PM): "he's not a monster... just a giant moose overlord of the north northwest territory"
matthewdeprez (12:27:38 PM): "hm.... so...... this is an embellishment on your resume?"
matthewdeprez (12:28:00 PM): "....noted."
normthehero (12:28:11 PM): "cripes!"
matthewdeprez (12:29:31 PM): did you see the rapist picture?
normthehero (12:31:01 PM): ... (holding head in hands) no....
matthewdeprez (12:31:11 PM): oh hang on
matthewdeprez (12:31:13 PM): i gotta find it
matthewdeprez (12:32:54 PM): http://img.redu.us/x/xa69c_IMG_0120.jpg
normthehero (12:34:02 PM): yes
normthehero (12:34:04 PM): i have
normthehero (12:34:04 PM): hahah
matthewdeprez (12:34:27 PM): that's the subplot
matthewdeprez (12:36:02 PM): sort of like the ben stiller storyline in the cable guy
normthehero (12:36:32 PM): what was HIS story line!?
normthehero (12:36:33 PM): haha
matthewdeprez (12:37:39 PM): remember he killed his twin brother?
matthewdeprez (12:37:46 PM): and that was the big cable news story?
matthewdeprez (12:38:12 PM): it's like.. it's a subplot that runs through the entire movie, but it's mostly just background noise
normthehero (12:38:20 PM): hahahha
normthehero (12:38:21 PM): oh yeah
matthewdeprez (12:38:57 PM): this storyline is just background noise to COP MOUNTAIN
matthewdeprez (12:39:54 PM): maybe at the end of the movie he will lose his rape trial
matthewdeprez (12:39:58 PM): and in a flurry of reporters
matthewdeprez (12:40:11 PM): he will turn into a shard of light and shoot towards the heavens
matthewdeprez (12:41:00 PM): and pierre/jeremy will shake his head and be like "man, i'm going to miss america!"
normthehero (12:41:23 PM): hahahahhahahhahahhahaha
normthehero (12:41:45 PM): p.s. - i think he should be "pierre" until they find out that he's really american - and his real birth certificate says "jeremy"
matthewdeprez (12:41:55 PM): no it's actually pierre
matthewdeprez (12:41:59 PM): jeremy isn't even his name
matthewdeprez (12:42:06 PM): it's his adopted american name
matthewdeprez (12:42:25 PM): because the voicebox of the american is incapable of correctly pronouncing his name in his native tongue
matthewdeprez (12:42:35 PM): like in that sci-fi movie V
normthehero (12:42:40 PM): ....
normthehero (12:42:42 PM): hahahahahah
matthewdeprez (12:42:42 PM): where all of the aliens take human names
matthewdeprez (12:42:56 PM): because the human voice can't make the right sounds to say the alien names
matthewdeprez (12:43:11 PM): like, when he gets hired at the rentacop company
matthewdeprez (12:43:21 PM): the chief will look at the employment form
matthewdeprez (12:43:31 PM): put his glasses on, hold the form at arm's length
matthewdeprez (12:43:38 PM): and stumble trying to pronounce "pierre"
normthehero (12:43:47 PM): like at ellis island
matthewdeprez (12:43:48 PM): he's like "PERRY?
matthewdeprez (12:43:57 PM): ...PAUL?
matthewdeprez (12:44:09 PM): and pierre will prounounce it
normthehero (12:44:10 PM): pee-er
normthehero (12:44:13 PM): ?
matthewdeprez (12:44:15 PM): hahaha
matthewdeprez (12:44:25 PM): and the chief will just be like "i'll tell you whot son"
normthehero (12:44:28 PM): this movie has so many gags built it
normthehero (12:44:37 PM): "i'mma call you jeremy!"
matthewdeprez (12:44:52 PM): "just between u and me and the rest of american, weas gonna call you jeremy"
matthewdeprez (12:45:37 PM): ".... now go see meredith to get fitted for your uniforms. that towel aint gonna cut it round here"
matthewdeprez (12:45:47 PM): pierre looks down
matthewdeprez (12:45:57 PM): "*sigh*.... not again!"
normthehero (12:47:03 PM): ahha
matthewdeprez (12:47:31 PM): actually scrap that
matthewdeprez (12:47:43 PM): i was bouncing back and forth between 2 ways of doing the towel gag
matthewdeprez (12:48:17 PM): 1 would be like a "pants bandit" situation, where some mysterious little guy apparently always sneaks up and steals pierre's pants without anybody noticing
matthewdeprez (12:48:22 PM): but that's just silly
matthewdeprez (12:48:40 PM): instead, pierre will consider a towel to be acceptable on a number of occasions
matthewdeprez (12:48:53 PM): following various realistic pants disappearances
normthehero (12:48:58 PM): hahha
matthewdeprez (12:49:50 PM): so instead of saying "not again!" he will act completely unphased, and be like "yes, sir, chief!" and prompty marches off to see meredith
matthewdeprez (12:50:15 PM): unless you and adam REALLY want to do the pants bandit
matthewdeprez (12:50:28 PM): cancel
matthewdeprez (12:50:39 PM): pants bandit will be for the animated series
normthehero (12:51:06 PM): hahah
normthehero (12:51:08 PM): okay
matthewdeprez (12:51:17 PM): he will wear a bandit mask and prison stripes
matthewdeprez (12:51:27 PM): and will be waist height
matthewdeprez (12:53:37 PM): jacques the french terrorist is fed up with the world calling the french pussies
matthewdeprez (12:53:52 PM): that is why he resorts to terror
matthewdeprez (12:54:43 PM): also, joe mande plays the wimpy rentacop that becomes pierre's sidekick
matthewdeprez (12:55:04 PM): when he wants to take down a drug operation that operates outside of his rentacop jurisdiction
normthehero (12:55:12 PM): oh my
matthewdeprez (12:55:16 PM): he uses joe mande as wimpy bait
matthewdeprez (12:55:27 PM): to lure them onto his jurisdiction
matthewdeprez (12:55:42 PM): where he can take them down
matthewdeprez (12:55:56 PM): with one of those foot lasso traps
matthewdeprez (12:56:08 PM): or in fact, many of those foot lasso traps
matthewdeprez (12:56:25 PM): and trees tied down bent over that somehow acts as a trap
matthewdeprez (12:57:09 PM): this increase "vigilante-style" policing leads him to bigger and more dangerous leads
matthewdeprez (12:57:40 PM): eventually uncovering the children/drug smuggling operation leading straight to the vault in mount rushmore
normthehero (12:57:43 PM): and this one might take him all the way to the top
matthewdeprez (12:58:24 PM): the work on which was completed by jacques and his syndicate without the american government knowing
matthewdeprez (12:58:34 PM): well he tries to alert the local authorities
matthewdeprez (12:58:42 PM): but they think he is crazy
matthewdeprez (12:58:52 PM): and they jump around imitating him making african click noises
matthewdeprez (12:59:16 PM): also they are preoccupied with the rapist reporter
matthewdeprez (12:59:32 PM): so he decides to take matters into his own hands
matthewdeprez (1:00:09 PM): and eventually brings the rag-tag group of rentacops around to help him thwart the plans of jacques the french terrorist
matthewdeprez (1:00:24 PM): like, they use the environment to their advantage
matthewdeprez (1:00:35 PM): and because pierre is so skilled in those areas, they end up victorious
matthewdeprez (1:00:47 PM): like, they wear tiger skins and paint their faces with mud and stuff
matthewdeprez (1:01:13 PM): and also, all mounties have an affinity with nature and can control animals
matthewdeprez (1:01:24 PM): so they will recieve help from their wilderness friends
matthewdeprez (1:01:31 PM): like, say they get caught by terrorists
matthewdeprez (1:01:38 PM): they are left tied to trees
matthewdeprez (1:01:52 PM): but pierre can summon the wilderness warriors to come nibble on the ropes
matthewdeprez (1:04:41 PM): also he can camouflage himself with leaves
matthewdeprez (1:04:44 PM): and eagles
normthehero (1:05:40 PM): i can't wait for you to read the draft that we come up with based on all these notes
matthewdeprez (1:05:58 PM): also use the convos posted on teh cop mountain facebook group
normthehero (1:06:05 PM): we have
normthehero (1:06:07 PM): we used the first one
normthehero (1:06:09 PM): so far
matthewdeprez (1:06:11 PM): all of the planning for the movie has come from AIM convos
matthewdeprez (1:06:18 PM): but that's where i do my best work
normthehero (1:06:32 PM): adam and i had a really good workshop last night
normthehero (1:06:38 PM): we did in fact wish you were there though
matthewdeprez (1:06:40 PM): were you naked?
normthehero (1:06:48 PM): yes - that's why we wanted you there
matthewdeprez (1:06:49 PM): make a cardboard cutout of me
matthewdeprez (1:06:54 PM): and hire nick tully to play my character
matthewdeprez (1:07:00 PM): make all decisions with a 20-sided die
normthehero (1:07:07 PM): haha
matthewdeprez (1:07:26 PM): i will come to there in the spring
matthewdeprez (1:07:55 PM): as soon as i pay off all of my credit cards, i will celebrate with a vacation to the land of 1000 lakes
matthewdeprez (1:08:15 PM): howiewood california!
normthehero (1:08:18 PM): haha
normthehero (1:08:22 PM): are you going to stay on our couch?
matthewdeprez (1:08:36 PM): no we will use some of howie's aunt's money to put me up in a luxury hotel
matthewdeprez (1:08:49 PM): she won't care because she is dead and also fake
matthewdeprez (1:10:23 PM): also if cop mountain get's hired to be a lucrative movie before spring i will move there
matthewdeprez (1:10:33 PM): must be more than $1000
matthewdeprez (1:10:43 PM): no less than $1000
normthehero (1:17:42 PM): okay
normthehero (1:17:45 PM): i'll keep that in mind
matthewdeprez (1:18:49 PM): http://pages.emerson.edu/staff/c/caleb_chabot/misc/copmountain/5.html
matthewdeprez (1:18:56 PM): that is the convo i had with adam with his old scenes
normthehero (1:19:12 PM): right right right
matthewdeprez (1:20:21 PM): make sure to include the helpful lectures about how to restore nature
normthehero (1:21:43 PM): the best so far are the arguments about treaties and pacts that were established and redacted and ammendments to parliamentary council
matthewdeprez (1:23:37 PM): don't forget though
matthewdeprez (1:23:41 PM): canada has no laws
matthewdeprez (1:23:51 PM): they just defer to the laws of nature
normthehero (1:25:08 PM): well that's why it's so confusing
normthehero (1:25:20 PM): jeremy has a long argument with RHIONON about that
normthehero (1:25:28 PM): and rhionon shakes his human hand
matthewdeprez (1:30:59 PM): dr emil marceau will be an expert witness in the rapist reporter trial
matthewdeprez (1:33:23 PM): i'll sell you the rights to cop mountain for a billion dollars
matthewdeprez (1:33:33 PM): that juicy deal is off the table at midnight tonight, baby
normthehero (1:38:59 PM): haha
matthewdeprez (1:42:34 PM): if you buy it now, i offer free shipping
matthewdeprez (1:42:58 PM): and also i will include a RARE first edition of the printout of the chat where i first conceived the idea for cop mountain!
matthewdeprez (1:43:26 PM): and for an additional $20, i will include a finished copy of the script for COP MOUNTAIN!
normthehero (1:44:41 PM): a billion and 20 dollars?
matthewdeprez (1:44:47 PM): yes for the whole thing
normthehero (1:44:59 PM): what about this - i don't pay you anything - and we all take credit for the script
normthehero (1:45:00 PM): haha
matthewdeprez (1:45:06 PM): but you have to use buy it now. with instant payment required via paypal
matthewdeprez (1:45:15 PM): bad deal
normthehero (1:45:18 PM): hahahah
matthewdeprez (1:45:35 PM): cop mountain has my juice all over it
matthewdeprez (1:45:40 PM): there is no way you'd get away with it
matthewdeprez (1:45:56 PM): also, i will get nick tully to fill your mouth with spiders
matthewdeprez (1:46:08 PM): and if you keep it up? adam's mouth too.
normthehero (1:48:04 PM): hhahahaha
matthewdeprez (1:48:14 PM): just decided deal
matthewdeprez (1:48:24 PM): 's off you're fired from cop mountain i'm bringing in a ringer rich
matthewdeprez (1:48:26 PM): salvucci
matthewdeprez (1:49:43 PM): and funnyman dan gordon
normthehero (1:50:33 PM): hahahahahha
matthewdeprez (1:50:59 PM): put the three of us in a room and we will make gold
matthewdeprez (1:51:15 PM): out of base elements
normthehero (1:52:17 PM): like lead?
matthewdeprez (1:52:34 PM): and iron
matthewdeprez (1:52:47 PM): unless it is in short supply and thus too valuable
matthewdeprez (1:52:57 PM): i suppose it would really depend on if it was wartime or not
normthehero (1:53:19 PM): duly noted
matthewdeprez (1:53:56 PM): pack up your office
matthewdeprez (1:54:08 PM): and your bad attitude
normthehero (1:54:24 PM): hahah
normthehero (1:54:32 PM): you're going to LOVE the script
matthewdeprez (1:54:33 PM): you think this is funny i'll kill
matthewdeprez (1:54:33 PM): you
normthehero (1:54:36 PM): simply just die
matthewdeprez (1:54:51 PM): i love loving things!
matthewdeprez (1:55:35 PM): adam and i already wrote the script
matthewdeprez (1:55:53 PM): it's in a sealed vault halfway between LA and boston
matthewdeprez (1:56:10 PM): he and i each half half of they key needed to unlock the vault